Catch Me
by WatIfAngel93
Summary: Adrian is back after almost being gone for a year, and with her comes a secret that had changed her life completely. Can Ricky bring her back to her old self before she finally takes a turn for the worst?
1. Letting Go

Chapter 1: Letting Go

~3 Months Ago~

_ She held the small pink blanket in her hands, fingering the soft material in her weak nimble fingers trying to feel what was supposed to be there. Tears ran down the seventeen years old's face in remorse and pain. A stinging clenched her heart as she ran her fingers over the light blue 'G' that her grandmother had sewn into the baby blanket many months ago. The 'G' stood for Gabriela. Gabriela Lee. It was a beautiful name that Grace had helped her pick out when she first decided to keep her. A beautiful name that would never be used._

~Present, September 1st, 2010~

"Sweetie, wake up! Your gonna be late for your first day of school!"

Adrian Lee sighed as she lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. She had woke up around five o clock this morning after the memories she desperately tried to push out of her mind resurfaced in her dreams. Of course, she hadn't been able to fall back to sleep and got dressed prior, not putting on any make up or doing her hair like she usually would on her first day of school. She merely wore faded jeans, a pair of new gym shoes her mother had bought her and a plain brown jacket that covered a plain white tank top. Not anything special, just how she liked it now. She hadn't realized she had been lying there that long, alone with her thoughts.

Shaking herself out of her reverie, she pulled herself from her already made bed and grabbed her usual pink back pack and went downstairs where her parents sat chatting over breakfast. They were a beautiful married couple, still like they were newly weds even after being married for over a year. Adrian couldn't help but give a small smile at the two, staring at each other lovingly over the chocolate chip pancakes.

Adrian cleared her throat and got the couples attention. "Morning."

Ruben and Cindy Enriquez broke their loving gazes to smile at their daughter as she joined them at the table. "Morning sweetie." Cindy greeted happily, putting a plate of food in front of her daughter. "I made your favorite, Chocolate chip pancakes and eggs sunny side up."

Adrian gave her mother a small thankful smile, missing her mothers cooking after all their time apart. "Thanks."

"You excited for your first day as a senior?" Ruben asked her.

Adrian shrugged. "I guess so."

"You guess so?" Ruben mused. "When I was your age, senior year meant raising hell and letting loose before moving onto reality." he joked.

Adrian smiled, a fake smile that her parents didn't seem to notice. "Been raising hell since freshman year, nothings changed that much..."

Adrian jumped at the sound of a car horn outside and quickly jumped up and gathered her stuff, kissing both of her parents on the cheek. "I gotta go, Grace is driving me to school."

Cindy gave her daughter a quick kiss on the cheek as she rushed out of the door. "Have a nice day at-" SLAM! "school..."

Ruben sighed and looked down at Adrian's untouched breakfast with remorse. "She's not eating again..."

Cindy sat back in her seat and fought back the tears that pricked her eyes, a sad sigh escaping her lips. "Do you think it was a good idea for her to go to school?" she asked her husband. "Maybe she should have waited longer."

"It was her decision." Ruben reminded his wife. "And Dr. Fields said she could cope better if she were surrounded by people and in a familiar environment."

"But what if she has another incident at school?" Cindy suddenly suggested in a panicked voice. "We won't be there to help her!"

"She'll have Grace there." Ruben said. "And she can handle herself, she's almost eighteen. All we can do is hope and pray that everything works out fine. We can't always be there for her."

Cindy sighed and watched Grace drive off with Adrian in the car. She knew her husband was right. Adrian had to do this on her own. "I know." she said. "Ever since Gabby...I can't help but worry."

Ruben nodded gravely. "I do to."

"Why'd it have to happen to her?" Cindy whispered to no once in particular, her gaze zoning out of the window.

Ruben sighed and silently asked the same question.

~With Adrian~

"We're seniors!" Grace exclaimed loudly as she pulled into the parking lot of their high school, her shouts getting stares from some of her fellow school mates.

Adrian chuckled at her best friend and stared at the blonde through her sun glasses. "Really Grace?"

Grace beamed at the girl. "Hey, I can be as loud as I want! We're seniors and its exactly nine months until we're finally free!"

"And exactly a year until you go straight back to the thing your celebrating on escaping, Dr. Bowman." Adrian joked as they got out of the car and headed toward the building.

Grace shrugged, the bubbly girls smile still in place. "No complaints here!"

Adrian was about to retort to the girl when she came face to face with the double doors that were the entrance to the hallways she had become suddenly fearful of. She felt her entire body clench up with the familiar feeling she had been getting since three months ago. Nausea hit her body like a ton of bricks and she struggled to hold it in and took deep breaths to calm herself and not get dizzy.

Grace stopped next to her best friend and looked at her with worry and she stood there with her eyes closed, trying to get control of her breathing. She immediately drew a bottle of cold water from Adrian's purse and unscrewed the cap.

"Here, drink up." Grace instructed her friend.

Adrian opened her eyes and wordlessly took the bottle, a grateful smile on her face before she took a long sip from the cool liquid. She took in a deep breath and leaned up against her friend, still staring at the double doors. Grace took her hand and smiled at her reassuringly.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Grace asked her.

Adrian nodded in response and stood up straight, tucking the closed bottle back into her purse. "Yeah I'm sure." she shrugged. "Now or never."

Grace nodded and walked into the high school with her best friend. As was expected, all eyes went to Adrian, which annoyed Grace beyond belief as the chattering immediately started. Adrian ignored it, facing forward as they made their way towards the office to get their schedules. At this moment, Grace confirmed in her mind that her best friend was probably the strongest person she knew.

"You know what," Grace said linking her arm with her best friend and walking down the hallway with a smile on her face. "This year is gonna be amazing!"

Adrian rolled her eyes playfully. "You said that like ten times today." she confirmed to her friend as the stood in line for their schedules.

Grace shrugged. "That's because its true."

~With Ricky~

Ricky Underwood was mad. No not mad. Positively enraged! It had been over a year and she suddenly decided to resurface after vanishing off of the face of the planet. He didn't even hear that she was back from her, he heard it from the entire school. Adrian Lee was back for senior year after leaving in the middle of their junior year without telling anyone. Only two people who possibly knew where she went were her parents, Ben, and Grace, and they refused to tell a sole. But she back now. Fuck his life.

"So you heard?" Amy asked the brooding teen as she met him at his locker, looking to Adrian as she chatted with Grace.

Ricky nodded, not looking at her. "Its all around school, hard not to hear."

"Does anybody know where she went?" Amy questioned, her eyes falling on Ricky. "Or why she even came back?"

"No one knows except for Ben and Grace." he told her. "But they wont talk."

Amy nodded and turned to continue looking at the Latina. "She looks...good."

It was true, Ricky had thought. Adrian had cut her hair about four inches, so it only fell a little below her shoulders and was still curly. She wore no make up, yet was still very beautiful even without it. Her clothes were less form fitting and covered more of her body, which was very out of character for her. She had changed...

"I'm sure Lauren and Madison know something." Amy said finally with a sigh as she turned to the boy. "Are you coming to babysit John tonight?"

"I said I was." Ricky sighed. "New boyfriend right?"

Amy nodded. "Yep, 7:30 remember."

Ricky nodded and didn't bother to look up as she walked away, his eyes still focused on the girl he thought he would never see again.

~With Adrian, 2 Bells Later~

By the time she got to study hall, she was very tired. On top of all the looks and stares, people kept coming up to her asking her questions on her whereabouts and to confirm clearly untrue rumors. It was beyond annoying and frustrating as well. That little gossip mongrel Madison even had the nerve to ask her if she was actually sent to a boarding school for her, and she quotes, "slut status". It took all of her might not to punch her out. Why couldn't things just go back to normal?

She felt her day grow worst as she approached her locker and found none other than Ben Boykavich standing there, waiting for her no doubt. He had changed just like she had. He had grown his hair out and was a little bit taller and broader than she remember. Still the same klutzy and slightly nerdy Ben. Still one of her best guy friends.

He smiled when she got to him, a welcoming smile she hadn't received from everyone else, which she was glad to receive. "Hey Adrian." he greeted enveloping her into a small hug.

Adrian smiled a bit in receiving the hug and sighed. "Hey Ben." she said as they stepped apart from each other. "How ya been?"

"Same." Ben sighed. "The same meaning awkward and still a bit on the nerdy side." he joked.

Adrian chuckled as she got her books out for her next class. "That's good I guess."

He nodded and suddenly his expression turned serious, which she was scared would happen. "How have you been since...?"

Adrian bit her lip and stared into her almost empty locker, tears pricking her eyes that she refused to let loose. She turned and looked at the teenage boy, not trying to mask any pain she felt. "A little better." she answered. "I still remember her... I still think about her."

Ben nodded. "I understand."

"And I'm glad that you do." she whispered to him before looking at him with teary eyes. "I'm glad that you're still my friend even after..."

"I'd never stop being your friend Adrian." Ben reassured her sternly. "Always know that."

Adrian nodded and smiled at him, but her smile quickly diminished at the sight of the boy approaching them over his shoulder. She immediately slammed her locker shut and mumbled a quick goodbye before darting off to her next class, leaving Ben there clueless.

"Where did she run off to?" Ben turned and came face to face with Ricky as the teen watched the Latina run off. He looked angry, actually beyond angry.

Ricky was still the same Ricky. Way more muscular than last year from working long hours at the Butcher Shop, and his hair was just a bit shorter, since he was raising a two year and didn't really want to deal with his hair. He was even more intimidating than he was last year, much to the anxiety of Ben's nerves.

Ben gulped a bit. "Just now? Oh she just went to class, I think. You know, can't be late for class on the first day! Speaking of which, I gotta go."

Ricky grabbed his friends forearm before the boy could go anywhere and glared at him. Ben sighed and stepped back, shrugging as he did. "Alright, what do you wanna know?"

Ricky's glare deepened. "So you do know something?" he accused.

"I only know what Adrian wants me to know." Ben told him. "And if she wanted you to know anything she would have told you."

Ricky scoffed at that. "She's been gone for over a year!" he yelled. "And what kind of friend are you? You won't even tell me anything!

Ben sighed and felt a bit of guilt pang his conscience. "Look I'm sorry... The only thing I can tell you is that she's been put through a lot of crap over the past year, so give her some time." He told him.

Ricky stared after Ben as he walked away, his words hanging after him. What had happened to her?

A/N Tell me what you think? 3 my readers and my reviewers!


	2. Suffocated

Chapter 2: Suffocated

Adrian couldn't help but look at him as he sat two rows in front of her. As soon as he walked in the room it was like everyone else had disappeared and he was the only person there. He didn't acknowledge her presence when he sat down, which she was silently glad for. She didn't think she could handle it. Especially since Grace wasn't here to help her out.

"Alright class, I'm gonna assign you your seats and your first project partners for the year." Our newest English teacher, Ms. Taylor, announced in a forward tone as she leaned against her desk looking at a binder.

Adrian rolled her eyes and stayed silent when the students around her collectively groaned at the news. They were seniors for gods sake, they had to get over it.

Ms. Taylor looked up from her binder and rolled eyes. "Oh get over it! Learn to actually like each other people!" she joked, earning a few laughs.

Adrian smirked at that. She was actually gonna like this teacher. She got up with everyone else as she read their partners off of her list. She purposely avoided standing next to Ricky and it was when she moved past him to the end of the line of her classmates that he finally looked at her with a hardened expression. She averted her eyes from him, though she could still feel his brown eyes boring into her body.

"Underwood and Lee, your partners!" the teacher called out.

Adrian stared with her eyes wide at the teacher in pure shock and annoyance. Irony was being such a bitch to her today.

"Uh, Ms. Taylor, can I have another partner?" she quietly spoke up, causing all eyes to go to her.

She silently cursed herself for drawing this much attention to herself and outwardly ignored the stares. Ms. Hall raised an eyebrow at her new student and shook her head.

"Sorry Ms. Lee, but if I assign you a new partner, then everyone will want one." she told her, looking back down at her binder.

The Latina groaned in annoyance and slowly went to her seat, where Ricky was already ignoring her presence. She sat down quietly and turned away from Ricky, glad to be sitting next to the window so she could distract herself. Again, she felt his eyes on her back. They were like blazing heat burning into her skin, unbearable and painful. She tried to pay attention as Ms. Taylor began explaining their first assignment, interviewing your partners and writing a brief synopsis on what you learned. Fate hates me.

"You'll need partner communication for this one people!" Ms Taylor told them as she walked behind her desk and sat down, she looked at Adrian in particular. "That means actually facing your partner Ms. Lee."

_'She's seriously trying to kill me.' _Adrian thought in annoyance as she begrudgingly turned in her seat to face Ricky, who still stared at her with an ice cold stare. She flinched a bit, but relatively ignored it as she took out a notebook to begin the assignment like everyone else.

"So how was your summer?" she mumbled to him, earning an even colder glare.

"That's all you have to say?" he snapped at me underneath his breath.

Adrian didn't look at him as she spoke. "What do you expect me to say?"

Ricky scoffed and stood with her, trying to get her to look at him. "I don't know maybe a lame ass excuse as to where you've been for the past _year_! Better yet, why you even left in the first place."

She glared down at the pen in her hands as she scribbled down her assignment, not daring to look up at her ex. "Why do you care?" she asked bitterly. "We're not together anymore you shouldn't care."

"Oh don't give me that shit Adrian." he growled, still in a whisper. "What the hell happened?"

Adrian sighed and closed her eyes, setting down her pen calmly as she tried to remain her composure. "Ricky, leave it alone please. You shouldn't care." she whispered.

Ricky scrunched his face in confusion at her sudden actions. She was tense and her entire body seemed to clench up tightly. Her face was scrunched in pain, her hands clenched the table in front of her until her knuckles began turning white.

"Adrian..." he said softly before touching her hand.

Adrian's eyes shot open and she looked at him. Her breath clenched as she stared into his chocolate brown eyes. The same brown eyes that belonged to _her_. The nausea hit her like a ton of bricks and she immediately covered her mouth as she felt the bile come up her throat. Yanking her hand away from his, she ran out of the room, ignoring the teachers protest as she did. Ricky could only stare after her as she did, confusion evident on her face.

~*~*~*~

Ricky's eyes scoured the lunch area outside for the head of blonde hair that he was sure would be out there. If Ben and Adrian wouldn't tell him anything, he had to talk to Grace. He hadn't talked to her about Adrian, but he had to know. Grace was her best friend, she had to know something.

He smirked when he found the perky little blonde eating lunch with Ben, both of them looking pretty happy together. There was only one person missing from beside Grace. Adrian.

"Hi Ricky." Grace greeted as he approached them.

He nodded a greeting at her and sat next to Ben, who glanced in between them nervously, which Grace noticed right off the back. "Is something wrong?" Grace asked them both.

"Whats up with Adrian?" Ricky boldly asked.

Grace, much to his surprise, looked at him innocently and shrugged. "What do you mean?"

Ricky sighed. "Grace, be the good christian and don't lie to me. You know as well as I do that something is seriously wrong with Adrian." he told her.

Grace raised an eyebrow. "And why do you think that?"

"Besides the fact that she disappeared for a year," Ricky started. "She doesn't talk to me, and she doesn't talk to anybody."

"Adrian's never been a social butterfly." Grace concluded. "You should know that."

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Grace your killing me here."

"Ricky, its Adrian's business." the blonde told him, a seriousness in her voice that slightly shocked him.

Ricky looked to Ben, who silently stared at his tray of food, and then looked back to her. "Fine." he said finally, much to their relief. "But eventually I will find out."

Grace nodded. "And I hope you do."

Ricky stared at both of them before getting up and stalking off. Grace sighed with relief and looked at her boyfriend with worry. "He's going to find out." she concluded.

Ben shrugged. "Probably, Ricky's not stupid." he looked at the blonde. "It could be for the better, couldn't it?"

Grace slowly nodded, not sure herself. She had to talk to Adrian.

~With Adrian~

Adrian washed her mouth out for what felt like the millionth time today to rid herself of the awful taste in her mouth. She had spent the rest of her English class and Lunch in the bathroom emptying the very little contents of her stomach. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but this time it was much worst. She tried desperately to rid herself of the painful images of comparison forever stuck in her head. His eyes reminded him so much of hers. If her eyes showed any signs of life... they would have looked like his. Exactly like his. The very thought of it made her stomach gurgle with nausea again.

"Adrian?"

The Latina shot her eyes to the doorway and saw none other than Amy Juergens standing there, looking at her with worry. The last year had been good to Amy. She was still thin and still had her long brown hair, but she looked more grown up, more full. Adrian could see the strain of motherhood evident on her face, but it didn't take away from the younger girls beauty what so ever. If anything, it made her more beautiful.

Adrian stood up straight and grabbed a paper towel, wiping her mouth quickly. "Hey Amy." she mumbled.

Amy walked closer to her, making Adrian feel extremely nervous. Was she going to bitch her out like Ricky had? She wouldn't blame her if she did... She deserved it. What Amy did though, surprised her beyond belief. She hugged her.

Adrian stiffened as Amy brought her into a bone crushing hug before putting her arms around the girl she once called friend. Amy sighed and stepped away from her, giving her a smile.

"Its great you've come back." Amy said with a smile. "Everything's been different without you right next door."

Adrian scoffed a little and leaned against the bathroom sink. "Doesn't feel great."

Amy nodded in understanding and sighed deeply before leaning beside her friend. "Are you okay?"

Adrian nodded quickly and recited the excuse she had been planning since she first decided to come back here. "Yeah, just first day jitters getting to me." she laughed nervously. "plus PMS. Bad combination."

Much to Adrian's relief, Amy laughed at her attempt at a joke. For a moment Adrian contemplated if she was a good actress or a good liar. She wasn't exactly lying. This first day of school was nerve racking as hell for her. She was lying about the real reason behind it though...

"if you don't mind me asking," Amy began with a curt breath. "Where have you been?"

Adrian took in a sigh and decided to herself to ease in the truth between the lines. After all the crap she did to Amy, she at least deserved that.

"I went away to live with my grandmother in Arizona for awhile." Adrian told her quietly. "The drama here was way too much to handle at the time."

Amy nodded again and slung her book bag over er shoulder with a sigh, satisfied with the answer. "I think we all were to some extent." Amy agreed with her. "I have to go, our conductor will kill me if I'm late to band again."

Adrian nodded and sent the girl a farewell smile as she turned to leave. Thinking back, she didn't really comprehend any real reason for her to hate Amy. Ricky, was the only logical answer she could come up with. But looking back...she couldn't help but think of how stupid she had been back then.

"Oh and Adrian?" Adrian looked up at the brunette as she stood in the bathroom doorway smiling. "Ricky doesn't hate you. He was just worried."

Adrian shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."

Amy gave her one last smile before she left, leaving Adrian alone to her thoughts. She stared at herself in the mirror, and yet in her mind didn't recognize the person in the mirror. She didn't recognize her own dead hazel eyes or her pale skin. She didn't recognize the person who she had become. And for some strange reason...

She was happy.

* * *

"So how was school?"

Adrian shrugged her shoulders with a sigh as she sat back on the oh-so comfortable couch she had found herself in for the past month or so. "Had another incident." she said quietly. "It was minor, but doesn't change that I had one."

The man across from her nodded. "We both expected it to happen. I'm proud of you for lasting this long without one."

Adrian smiled slightly and nodded. "Two weeks. New Record."

Dr. Ken Fields smiled at his patient. "How does that feel?"

Adrian shrugged again. "How is it supposed to feel?" she asked, her voice cracking a bit with emotion. "I don't know whether or not to feel accomplished or disgusted with myself."

"From the progress that you've made in just two months." Ken said seriously, scribbling down on his pad. "I would definitely feel accomplished." he shrugged. "But I'm not you."

"Lucky." Adrian mumbled as she slumped deeper into the couch.

Ken sighed at the teenager in front of him and tapped his pen repeatedly on his notebook. "Adrian, just because you have another incident doesn't mean your taking steps back. Your going forward. I told you from the beginning that the healing process was going to take time. Each day is another step forward."

Adrian nodded slowly at his words. She counted the days in her head. Exactly 104 days since it happened. 70 days since she started coming to Dr. Fields. 5 or so hours since her last incident.

"When do I take steps back then?" Adrian asked, fiddling with a loose string on her shirt. "What's gonna make me get worst?" she finalized looking up at her doctor.

Ken Fields sighed. "Another patient of mine asked me the same thing. 'What's crossing the line' and 'What if I do something that ruins it all'. The thing that you both don't understand is you have to set that limit yourself." he told her. "Don't be so quick to reprimand your progress."

Adrian smiled. "I wasn't." she bit her lip and let out a long breath. "How much time do we have left?"

Ken checked his watch. "Plenty of time actually." he looked at her. "Why?"

Adrian gnawed at her lower lip, the images flooding back to her head. She looked her therapist in the eyes. "She has his eyes."

A/N: Read and Review please


	3. Those Three Little Words

Chapter 3: Those Three Little Words...

. Adrian loved running. She had picked it up two months ago when she first moved back to California and began seeing Dr. Fields. Dr. Fields had explained to her that it was a good way to clear her mind and ventilate everything she had been bottling up at the time. He was right too. When she ran she developed a rush that threw everything out of the window. She didn't think about anything but the path in front of her when she ran, and she enjoyed that part mostly. It kept out any thoughts of the past she definitely did not want to remember.

She breathed in a deep relaxing sigh as she jogged onto her street. It was a crisp Saturday morning in September, not to cool and not too hot. Perfect for a good run. She definitely needed it after her first week of school. Everyone approached her with some type of rumor and accusation. As calm as tried to remain, she eventually had to tell off a couple of people who got too out of hand. Grace even lost her head a few times. Amy had been supportive through it, seeing as she had been and probably still was a victim of peoples rumor fascinations. Even Ben was there for her. Ricky hadn't said a thing to after the incident in English. He only said a few things to her during assignments, other than that, nada. She guessed it was for the best. She could barely look at him sometimes...

"Oy, watch out!" She suddenly heard from her right.

Adrian yelped as she fell backwards to avoid the black Truck that skidded to a stop in front of her. She really needed to start paying attention...

Her senses immediately snapped forward when an incredibly gorgeous man stepped out of the truck and ran around to her. He had short shaggy blonde hair that fell softly over his sea green eyes that stared at with worry, and his skin was just a bit tan from being in the sun a lot. He was quite muscular from what she deduced from his arms that shown through his wife beater and his broadened shoulders. In all other assumptions, he was divine.

"...you okay?" he had been saying.

Adrian stared at him a bit before shaking her head to get her thinking straight. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked stupidly.

"I asked if you were okay?" he asked in a thick British accent that made her stomach jump a bit.

She nodded quickly as he helped her off of the ground. "Oh, yea I'm perfect." she told him with a small smile. "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."

He smiled back at her, displaying a perfect set of pearly white teeth. "No, I'm sorry. I have to get my brakes checked. I can't be almost hitting beautiful girls anymore can I?"

Adrian's smile widened a bit at the compliment and felt herself blush. "No I guess you can't." she offered her hand to him. "I'm Adrian. Are you new around here? I've never seen you around."

He shook her hand and nodded with a slight laugh. "Its a pleasure to meet you, I'm Derek, and yeah. I just moved here from England with my dad."

"Long way from home."she commented.

He shrugged with a roguish smile. "Yeah, but California's not too bad. Nice beaches. Nice weather." he winked at her. "and very pretty girls."

She smirked back at him coyly. "For some reason, I have the strangest feeling that your flirting with me."

"Funny," he joked. "I have that very same feeling."

Adrian laughed as he suddenly pulled out a sharpie that hung from his key chain. He gingerly took her small hand in his and wrote something down on her hand. She watched curiously as he did. He may have been British, but he sure did flirt like an American.

"You should call me sometime." he suggested to her as he capped the sharpie. "Maybe you can show me around and give me the full American experience."

Adrian read over the numbed on her hand, a small smile forming on her face. "I'de like that." she said, looking up at him.

He gave her one last smile before walking back to his truck. "I'm looking forward to it." he said as he started up the engine.

After he drove away, Adrian walked back to her house dazed, still looking at the seven digits on her hand.

~*~*~*~

"Oh my god, how cute was he?" Grace exclaimed loudly as she and Adrian walked through downtown after a long day of shopping.

Adrian rolled her eyes at her friends giddiness but smiled. "Very." she said. "British too."

Grace beamed. "Oooooh, an accent. Sexy." she said in a sing song tone. "Are you gonna call him?"

Adrian shrugged, staring down at the sidewalk in front of her. "I might." she told her best friend. "Haven't decided yet."

Grace frowned. "I wanted to hear a 'duh' or something."

Even though Adrian had been making improvements, men were one thing Adrian hadn't budged on. Grace had been deeply worried for her best friend since 'it' happened. Yeah, she was getting better, but she wasn't ever going to be the same. And that bothered her to no end.

Adrian lifted her gaze to stare off into store windows. "I don't know. I don't feel...ready to date anyone." she looked at the blonde seriously. "I don't know if I could handle it. Hell, I don't even think he could handle it."

Grace sighed. "I understand." she smiled as an attempt to lighten the mood. "Still, you can't let an incredibly cute British guy get away. That's like a one in a million thing."

"I guess." Adrian laughed. "But you're all set. You have-"

"Ben!" Grace exclaimed when her eyes caught her boyfriend walking down the street towards them.

Adrian smiled at the two as they embraced. Ben and Grace had gotten together about six months ago, and they were still going strong. They decided to put any past events behind them and move on, and Adrian could not have been happier for them. She even acted as a mediator to some of their past fights and miffs.

Her breath hitched as she saw Ricky come up from behind Ben, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his face emotionless. What was he doing here?

"What are you two up to?" Ben asked them after a chaste kiss from his girlfriend.

Grace smiled at him. "Just a bit of shopping and lunch. What about you too?"

"Mr. Boykavich let us off early today." Ricky told her, earning a slight jump from Adrian. "We were just headed to lunch."

"You guys wanna join?" his younger friend asked. "My treat?"

Grace looked to Adrian pleadingly, who rolled her eyes and nodded at her best friend in defeat. The blonde beamed and latched onto her boyfriends arm as they started off down the street. Ricky and Adrian followed behind in silence, a silence that was highly awkward for Adrian. The avoided all eye contact, actually, they avoided looking at each other all together. Even as they all sat down outside at the Burger Shack for lunch.

"What do you want Adrian?" Grace asked as she and Ben stood to go get the food.

Adrian leaned against her elbow on the table, shaking her head a bit. "Just a smoothie."

"You sure?" Ben asked her with a look of worry that made Ricky thoroughly confused.

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I just lost ten pounds. Not gonna gain all that back with fast food. Plus I'm not that hungry."

"If your sure." Grace said with a sigh. "How about you Ricky?"

"Just a burger." he told the two.

Ricky turned to Adrian after the two left, a deep look of confusion on his face. "Since when do you watch your weight?"

Adrian raised an eyebrow at him. "Since I started having too."

"Why?" Ricky asked leaning back in his seat. "It's not like you need too."

"So you say." Adrian said with a sigh.

Ricky raised an eyebrow at the comment but decided not to say anything. He had been scouring his brain trying to figure out what was wrong with Adrian. No one knew except Ben and Grace and they weren't much help what so ever, and he would be damned if he asked her parents. He didn't even know why he was so concerned about it. He just was... He was surprisingly determined to figure out the little mystery that Adrian had left behind when she left.

"Hows John?" she suddenly asked, bringing him back from his thoughts.

His eyes stared warily at her from across the table, trying to sum up the girl in front of him. "He's good. He talks and walks really well. He's pretty smart too, he can already say the alphabet."

She smiled at that. "That's great. I miss the little guy."

"You should go see him sometimes." Ricky told her, surprising her and himself. "he liked you a lot."

Adrian nodded wordlessly, breaking the conversation completely as Grace and Ben came back with the food, laughing and playfully shoving each other. The two were so in love it made Adrian want to throw up sometimes, but in a completely good way of course. It was good they were in love.

"You drop my burger your dead Boykavich." Ricky warned as Ben stumbled over a bit with his burger.

Ben rolled his eyes as he set it in front of his best friend. "Whatever Underwood, I'm paying so be grateful."

Grace rolled her eyes and gave Adrian her smoothie. "Here you go, Strawberry, your favorite."

Adrian sent her friend a grateful and sipped on the delicious beverage. The rest of the lunch went on smoothly. Ricky and Adrian actually talked a bit, which surprised Grace and Ben by all means. They hadn't expected them to even look at each other, but there they were. Making small talk as if there hadn't been unbearable tension between them during the whole week. Grace couldn't help but smile a bit at that. Maybe just maybe...

"Hey, do you wanna come back to my house?" Ben asked suddenly. "Dad just got a new TV and we got a few new movies."

Adrian shook her head apologetically. "Can't, I have to study tonight."

"And I gotta pick up John from my parents." Ricky said with a sigh. "Maybe another time."

Grace bit her lip and looked in between her boyfriend and best friend. "I don't wanna leave Adrian."

Adrian sent her friend a reassuring smile. "You go ahead Grace. I'll be fine."

"How are you gonna get home?" Grace asked her.

Adrian shrugged. "I'll just take the-"

"I'll take her." Ricky suddenly said, everyone's eyes turning to him. "My parents house is on the way."

"You sure?" Grace asked.

Adrian was speechless when Ricky said it wasn't a problem. It was a problem. It was one thing to talk to him, it was another thing to ride in a car alone with him. And for some reason, her body was defying her brain at the moment and nodding and going along with this. She wanted to say no and that she could get home herself, even as they said goodbye to Ben and Grace and parted ways, but she couldn't. She finally gave up when they got into Ricky's new SUV and started towards her house.

Adrian sighed through the silence of the car that had been settling for the past few minutes that earned a raised eyebrow from her ex. "Why did you offer to give me a ride?" she asked him.

Ricky frowned a bit. "Did you have another way?"

"NO, but-"

"Well that's why." Ricky told her in a monotone. "Is there a problem with me offering?"

Adrian gave him a hard stare at the attitude in his voice and shook her head. "Nope. But seeing as you haven't said more than three words to me all week, I couldn't help but wonder."

Ricky scoffed. "What else did you expect me to do? Walk around all hunky dory like everything was alright, when actually, it really wasn't?"

Adrian full out glared at him. "I actually expected you to act like a fucking grown up, because remember? That's the reason you broke up with me, because you wanted to be a grown up."

Ricky was happy, internally. This was the Adrian he remembered. The little spit fire who was quick to fight back and would not back down easily. He would have voiced it if he weren't so annoyed with her. "I broke up with you because you cheated on me with my friend!"

"You cheated on me plenty of times!" Adrian argued.

Ricky rolled his eyes. "And here we are back to this!"

"You started it you prick!" she seethed at him.

"I started this?!" Ricky yelled. "You're the one getting worked up because I was actually trying to be nice and give you a god damned ride."

Adrian scoffed. "Nice? Yeah, because you've been such a saint this entire week."

Ricky gripped his steering wheel in pure anger and sped up his car. "Why the hell did you even bother coming back, huh? Enlighten me!"

"Its none of your business." Adrian growled.

"Bull shit Adrian." he growled back. "Because if it didn't have anything to do with me then you wouldn't have tried so hard for me not to know."

"Or maybe its because its none of damn business!" Adrian seethed. "Why the hell do you even care?"

"Don't avoid the question Adrian."

"Don't avoid mine."

Ricky racked his brain. Why did he care? They were done, and they had been for a while. What had been going on in her life for the past year should be the least of his concerns, but for some reason it was in his mind, front and center. For some reason he was deeply worried about her.

"You know what, I don't even know." Ricky finally said, pulling up to her house. "I shouldn't anyway. You didn't give a damn about me when you cheated with Ben, why the hell should I give a damn about you now?"

Adrian glared at him with tears in her eyes, and Ricky knew he struck a nerve. He actually felt guilty about it too. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her he was sorry, but he knew he couldn't. A small part of him didn't want to either. Because he knew that if he did, something highly dangerous could result.

Adrian opened the door and stepped out, slamming his car door hard enough to shake her side of the car. She whirled around to look at him, glaring at him through the open window.

"Sad thing is," she said, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I actually did love you. With everything. And you wanna know what else is sad?" she laughed a little at this. "My heart just hasn't gotten over that. Despite how many times you've broken it."

With that, Adrian ran up to her house and slammed the door closed, locking out the problems on the other side. She was silently thankful that her parents had gone out for the night. She really didn't feel like explaining anything to them. She ran up to her room and sank down on her bed, letting her tears flow freely down on her cheeks. Why did she still love him? After everything! How could her heart betray her so much?

She finally controlled her sobs and wiped her eyes. She wasn't going to let it keep happening. She couldn't. She reached for her purse and scoured through it until she finally found the tiny device she had been looking for. She quickly pressed through her contacts before she found the number she had been looking forward. Pressing the call button, she waited anxiously as she waited for him to answer.

"Hello?" the deep voice answered, much to Adrian's relief.

"Hey Derek." she said with a sigh. "Its Adrian..."

~*~*~*~

A/N: Hello peoples, tell me what you think! Its like 2 am here and I've been slaving all night with this chapter so I hope you like it! Things have been hectic, but I'm glad you guys are all giving me this encouragement. I'm def needing it.


	4. The Kiss

Chapter 4: The Kiss

Adrian tried to put on the best smile she could as she surveyed herself in the mirror, straightening her soft pink sun dress against her body nervously. She had pinned her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head, leaving a few strands to hang loosely in her face, and only put on a light layer of make up. Just a little mascara, eyeshadow, and lip gloss, which is the most make up she had worn in months. Derek would be there to take them to a carnival any minute now, and she couldn't help but feel an anxiousness build up in her stomach. She was never a big person on dates, and since she hadn't been on one in a while this was a whole new experience for her.

She and Ricky's argument just a few days ago had permanently imprinted itself into her brain. Every single word has played on the strings that were dead close to being broken. She had stayed up all Saturday night contemplating things, and she finally decided that she needed to move on, forget everything and get on with what ever life she had to live.

She sighed and deleted any thoughts of Ricky out of her mind. She had a date tonight with a very beautiful British guy tonight, she was not going to ruin anything else.

"So who is that very cute boy waiting downstairs in the living room waiting for you?" her mother asked from the doorway, scaring the crap out of her in the process.

Adrian rolled her eyes playfully at her mothers coy smile and smiled a bit. "His names Derek, he's gonna take me to the carnival on the beach."

Cindy raised an eyebrow at her daughter. "As in a date?"

Adrian nodded. "Yep."

"That's nice." her mother smiled brightly. "He seems like a nice boy."

She walked up to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her daughter, looking at their reflections with a smile on her face. "And you're very beautiful sweetie."

Adrian smiled at her mother through the mirror and gripped her mothers hand in her own. "Thanks mama."

Cindy kissed the top of her head and sighed. "Alright, we can't leave him sitting down there all night."

Adrian nodded and hugged her mother one last time before going off to meet her date. Cindy watched her go with a small smile on her face. For the first time in almost a year...she felt relieved.

"Can't believe you beat me at the ball toss." Derek chided as they walked through the busy and all to colorful carnival scene, hand in hand.

Adrian shrugged her shoulders and laughed, shifting the large stuffed dog underneath her arm better. "I had a lot of practice growing up. A friend of mine," she cringed a bit at the remembrance. She was just glad he didn't notice. "taught me how to play baseball when we were younger. I could pitch a curve with my eyes closed." she finished off with a sigh.

Derek smiled at her. "Nice to know a girl who knows her sports."

"I try." Adrian laughed as he pulled her toward another ride.

Much to her surprise, Adrian was actually enjoying herself. Derek was great, and was a complete gentlemen. He opened his car door for her, paid for their food, and even attempted to win her a stuffed animal (which is when he embarrassingly revealed that he was no good at carnival games). He was definitely not Ricky. Ricky had brown eyes, not green. Ricky's hair was black, not blonde. And Ricky hated her while Derek actually liked her. Nope, definitely not Ricky.

"Your a quiet one you know." Derek told her as they continued walking along the beach side carnival.

Adrian turned her eyes away from the night sky to give the blonde a confused look. "I am?" she asked.

He smiled charmingly at her. _Everything about him is 'charming'._ She thought to herself.

"Yeah, its cute though." he told her.

_'If only he knew...' _she thought with a sudden sense of remembrance that she dismissed quickly. "Thanks." she said simply.

He gazed at her, straight into her eyes. For a merely a millisecond, Adrian felt a small spark run through her spine, but it disappeared just as quickly as it came.

"So," he started. "What are your ambitions?" he smiled at her even more confused looked. "What do you want to do after high school?"

Adrian raised an eyebrow at the question, which was a very strange one in her opinion. "I guess," she began with a sigh. "Well I guess I want to go to college, pre-law, and maybe follow my dads footsteps in the justice system." she looked at him, he was smiling. "Why?"

"Well I like a girl who knows what she wants." he answered her. "You seem to have a pretty good idea of what you want too."

Adrian nodded slowly as they continued walking. _'Yeah, sure...' _That was when she saw him. Holding a giggling John close in his arms, smiling at his son as the dribbled on with cotton candy in his small hand. John was just as adorable as he was when she last seen him. She felt her heart melt at the sight of Ricky being so tender and loving to her son, but when Derek wrapped his hand in hers, she was immediately shaken from the thoughts. She panicked when she saw that they were getting closer, she had to avoid them somehow.

"Adrian?"

Adrian looked up and immediately her eyes widened. "What are you doing here?"

Ricky shifted John so that the excited and smiling toddler rested better on his hip and glared at the brunette that stood in front of him. "Taking John to the carnival." his eyes shot to Derek for only a millisecond. "What are you doing here?"

Adrian's glare and dislike for her ex grew deeper. "I'm on a date." she said lowly, stepping closer to Derek for effect.

Before Ricky could open his mouth to say anything, Derek smiled and stepped forward, holding out his hand to the teen father who was taller than him by at least three inches. "Its nice too meet you." he said politely, making his accent stick out even more. "I'm Derek."

Ricky looked down at his hand and shook it with his free hand, his face still cold. "Ricky."

Derek merely nodded and him before smiling at John, who was now transfixed on the merry-go-round next to them. "And who is this little guy?" Derek asked in a cooing tone leaning down to see John better.

The little boy only cocked his head to the side at the man and beamed, cotton candy stuck to his face and hair and only made him more adorable. "John." he said cutely.

Ricky smiled at his son. "This is my son."

Derek's eyes bugged out for a moment. "Son?" he questioned in astonishment before looking at Adrian. "How exactly do you two know each other?"

Adrian flinched at the accusing tone, avoiding the gazes of both men. "Uh, Ricky and I dated for awhile."

Derek's eyebrows scrunched in confusion but he said nothing else. Ricky only turned his loving gaze to send a raised eyebrow at him, wondering why the hell he cared so much that Adrian had dated him. It was Derek's phone that broke the awkward silence between them. The Brit sheepishly excused himself and walked away, speaking into his cell phone in a hushed tone. Adrian crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling very naked and out in the open with Ricky without her date by her side.

"Horsey!" John pleaded childishly, his small finger pointed toward the merry go round while his other thumb was currently in his mouth.

Ricky frowned. "You can't keep sucking on your thumb big guy." he scolded softly, gently taking the little boys thumb out of his mouth. He looked at Adrian and then over to where Derek stood talking into his phone animatedly. "You gonna be okay?" he said to Adrian.

Adrian glanced over to Derek and slowly nodded. "Uh sure. I'm sure its just a quick call."

Ricky gave her a pointed look when Derek walked further away from them, still talking on the phone as if he weren't on a date. "Come on, you can get on the merry-go-round with John and me." he suggested.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at him. "You sure?"

Ricky shrugged. "Not like you have anything better to do."

Adrian almost said something smart back to him for that slanderous remark against her date, but bit her tongue and waited in line with them. It made her smile to see John laugh and smile as he rode the small white horse in front of the bench they sat on. He was a perfect combination of Ricky and Amy. Amy's hair, and eyes, Ricky's smile and nose. Every facial expression he made reminded her of Ricky.

"New boyfriend huh?" Ricky questioned, not taking his eyes away from his son.

Adrian rolled her eyes. "Not exactly, its our first date."

Ricky merely nodded. "He seems...nice?" he said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh don't you dare!" Adrian growled at him. "You don't even know him."

"I don't have to know him to know that he's jerk." Ricky said plainly, still not looking at her. "What kind of guy leaves his date to go talk on the phone for an hour?"

"It hasn't been an hour...only like twenty minutes."

Ricky rolled his eyes lazily to look at her with a "yeah right" kind of expression. Adrian huffed and crossed her arms across my chest. "He's really a good guy."

"Sure he is."

"God what is up with you?" Adrian exclaimed in exasperation. "One minute you're like the asshole from hell and next your looking out for my well being? How the hell does that work?"

Ricky narrowed his eyes slightly at her. "First off, you started it. Second of all, no matter what happens between us, I'm gonna look out for you." he shifted his eyes back to his son, who was now waving back at them. "Remember what you said? You're always gonna be there for me... so I'll always be there for you." he muttered.

Ricky's words threw her. She stared at him wide eyes, lost for any words to say back to him. She couldn't believe he actually remembered those words from the hospital the day that John was born. The day she also said that no matter what, she would always be there for him...always...

"Ricky.." she was all she could managed out before John ran into his arms, smiling. It was then that she realized that the ride had stopped and they were just sitting there. She watched Ricky as he smiled at his son and picked him up in his arms, listening as the boy went on about his fun in adorable baby gibberish. She silently followed them off the ride into the commotion of the carnival. Ricky turned and gave her a small whisper of a smile, patting Johns head as the boy rested it on his shoulder.

"I gotta get him home before he passes out." He told her. "You gonna be okay?"

Adrian nodded, smiling back at him. "Yeah, Derek should be somewhere around here."

Ricky nodded his head at her, giving her one more ghost smile. "See you later."

Adrian nodded at him and turned away as he started to leave, suddenly feeling a flutter in her stomach like she used to whenever Ricky came around.

"Adrian..."

The Latina turned around only to come face to face with Ricky, who stared at her with a hardened expression, John sleeping tiredly on his shoulder. Before she could say a thing, he covered her mouth with his own. It was quick, but passionate and loving and sent chills and electric sparks through her spine. She missed the feel of his lips against hers, the way he used to kiss her just like he was now. Just as quickly as it came, she found that it ended far to early.

Ricky broke the kiss, staring at her with dark eyes. Brushing a hand across her cheek he turned and walked away, leaving her to watch him disappear into the crowd of people in shock.

Her smile fell slightly when she saw Derek replace Ricky in her line of vision, a apologetic smile on his face. She sighed as he jogged towards her, putting on the best possible she could. She had completely forgotten she was on a date.

"I'm so sorry love." he apologized, kissing her on the cheek where Ricky had brushed it. "That was an my mum going on about being home on time. She doesn't trust America enough to let me wander."

Adrian shrugged, still flustered from the kiss. "Its alright, we'll just have to do this another time," she suggested, biting her lip. "It's late and I have school bright and early tomorrow."

Derek nodded and offered her his hand. "I'll take you home then." he told her with a smile.

Adrian nodded and took his hand, not even feeling a spark like she had earlier. Nothing like the spark she felt with Ricky...

Oh no...

**A/N: Yeah, sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. School was hectic, but today was my last day and you have me 24/7 now :) I really appreciate all of my readers, you guys are great! Hope you liked it Read and Review, I write for those :) 3 **


	5. Never Say Never

Chapter 5: Never Say Never

"_Mom, I swear I'm perfectly fine driving to my appointment by myself." Adrian sighed into her cell phone._

_The older woman sighed on the other end. "Alright, I still think your grandmother should have taken you. Your 8 months pregnant Adrian, how are you even fitting in the drivers seat?" _

_Adrian rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the self-esteem boost Mom." she mumbled, looking down at her large stomach. "And I fit just fine, grandma just got off of work, she needs her rest."_

"_Still, I'm worried." Cindy told her daughter. _

"_Mom, I'm fine," she began. "I promise, I'll be back home safe and-"_

_That's when the crash rang through her ears and her entire body was thrown forward, the seat belt catching her body, but the car pushed forward, pressing her body sharply to the steering wheel. The chaos that resumed around was all a blur in her vision. Other crashes could be heard, and she could smell smoke filling her nostrils. Her seat was pushed up slightly, the entire back side of her car being demolished. The car behind her beeped loudly and the driver yelled threw her window to make sure she was okay. She tried to move her head up a bit, but it fell limply again against the steering. She felt the warm liquid trickled from her head and flow freely down her face. Her mother's screaming voice could be heard from the cell phone still firmly in her hand. But Adrian didn't care about any of that, not the accident, not the driver, and at the moment, not ever her mother. Her concern was the small life in her stomach._

_Moving a trembling hand to her stomach, she felt its firmness for any signs of moment. The steering wheel was planted firmly into it, and her body was closed in too tightly too move. She felt tears trickle down her face as she felt no movement beneath her fingertips. There was nothing. Suddenly she felt the same warm trickle run down her legs, through her jeans. Her hand shook almost violently as she felt down between her legs. She lifted her hand, fearing what she would see. Her fears were proven right when she found her pale palm was reddened with her blood. The blood was coming from..._

_A scream ripped from her throat..._

Adrian awoke from her nightmare in a cold sweat. The memories flooded her mind and the sights of blood splattered in front of eyes. She couldn't stop the sobs from raking her body. She pushed all of her covers from on top of her and curled into a ball in the corner of her bed, her entire body shaking violently.

"No, no,no please get out of my head." she begged in between sobs, clutching her hair tightly.

Suddenly her bedroom door opened and her light cut on. She didn't get to see who it was before their arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. She breathed in her mothers scent and collapsed into her arms, crying out in her mother shirt. Cindy Lee wiped away the tears that streamed down her face and she clutched her daughters convulsing body in her arms. She wanted to make it better for her, she wanted to take back everything that had happened, but she couldn't. And it killed her inside.

"Shh baby, its gonna be okay." she whispered to her daughter, kissing the top of her head. She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Adrian or herself... "Was it the dream again?"

Adrian didn't say anything, she only nodded through her tears. Cindy sighed again and laid her head on her daughters, cradling her body in her arms. Adrian held on just as tightly as Cindy did, afraid that if she let go, all the dreams would reappear again.

Ruben could only sit outside his daughters room, his head in his hands. Why did it have to happen to them? Why did these things happen at all? Those were the questions running through his mind. He wiped away the tears that ran down his face as he heard another cry erupt from his daughters room. Why did it have to happen to her?

_**~*Catch Me*~~*Catch Me*~~*Catch Me*~**_

"Three weeks and five days." Adrian mumbled irritably as she sat across from Dr. Fields.

Ken Fields raised his eyebrow at his patient. "Well that's progress."

"Yeah, I guess." came her barely audible reply.

Ken sighed heavily and stopped his insistent tapping on his clipboard to lean forward in his seat. "You guess?" asked her. "Why are we doing the guessing game again?"

Adrian looked at him, a small scowl on her face. "Because it doesn't feel like anything is getting better. These nightmares are getting worst every. single. time. " she told him through gritted teeth. "And I still see them when I'm awake, its like their haunting me."

"Adrian," Ken began. "what you went through is something you won't easily move past. I wouldn't even expect you to have after only three months of our sessions."

Adrian bit her lip. "I just want it to go away." she mumbled. "I want to go back to before any of this happened, before me sleeping with Ben, before Ricky..."

Ken nodded. "I know." he told her with a sigh. "But remember, you can't keep living in regret. You have to more forward."

"How?" Adrian asked, a pleading look on her face.

"I can't tell you that." Ken said. "I can help you along the way so you can figure it out, but no one can answer that question but you."

Adrian sighed and slumped down in her seat that he noticed she usually did when she was in a defeated state. He studied his patient as she fiddled with the string on her sweater, a deep and faraway look in her eyes. Ken raised an eyebrow at her behavior.

"There something else on your mind?" he asked her.

Adrian turned her eyes away from the incredibly interesting string to look at the man and shrugged. "Maybe." she said with a shrug.

Ken smiled slightly, happy to see her mood improved. "Want to tell me about it?"

Adrian let a small smile pass on her lips. "I met someone." she said in a happy tone.

"Oh?"

"Yes, my mom and dad love him. He's from England and he's really nice. Charming and all that." Adrian told him. "We even went out Saturday."

"Is that so?" Ken said with a chuckle. "How was it?"

Adrian thought back on her and nodded. "It was nice. He was gentleman like, didn't once try to make a pass at me. It was all great up until Ricky-"

"Woah, woah, woah." Ken interrupted her. "Ricky was there?"

Adrian nodded. "Yeah, we were at that carnival on the dock and he was with John. We ran into each other, and he and Derek met."

Ken raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"Derek got a phone call from his mom and was on there for about twenty minutes, so Ricky invited me to ride the merry go round with him and John."

"And you said yes?" Ken asked her.

"It wasn't like I had anything better to do." She told him with a shrug of her shoulders. "So, when we were on, wouldn't you know the jack ass had the nerve to judge Derek! Just like him. And when I asked him why he cared, he said he would always care about me."

"And your angry about that." it was a statement, not a question.

"Wouldn't you be?" Adrian asked him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm on a date and he has the nerve to send me mixed messages? Yes! I'm mad."

"Ricky's has always been one to tell and express everything that he feels except for the emotions that actually matter." Ken told her, sighing at the memory of his other patient.

"Exactly." Adrian muttered. "And then, this is the worst part, he kisses me."

"How did that make you feel?"

Adrian almost chuckled at that. "That's terribly cliche you know?" she sighed, her amusement disappear just as quickly as it came. "And I don't know how I feel. One minute I hate him, and then the next I..."

Ken looked at his patient, expecting her to finish the sentence. "You what?" he asked her in a soft voice.

Adrian crossed her arms tightly over her chest, a sad sigh escaping her lips. "I love him." she finally said. "Sometimes I hate him, and sometimes I can't help but love him."

"That's understandable, with everything that you've been through together."

"But with everything that we've been through together, I should hate him right?" Adrian asked him. "I mean, he's cheated on me, he's hurt me, a year ago when all this started he barely wanted to be in the same room with me." she rambled on. "I should hate him."

"Is that a question or a statement?" Ken asked.

"Both I guess." she said with a shrug. "I guess I'm contradicting the situation aren't I?"

Ken shrugged a bit. "I don't think so, your just stating the facts, analyzing and arguing against both. A true lawyer."

Adrian couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I guess." she shrugged. "I guess I feel both for him. I hate him and love him. Both for different reasons."

"Maybe." he said. "But I think you should narrow it down to one."

Adrian looked at him with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, in my opinion, when you decide what you feel for Ricky, it'll be far easier to move on from this current situation." he told her. "If you never surely know then you can never know which path to take, then you'll just be stuck in this same spot."

"Makes since." Adrian agreed. "But its easier said than done."

"As almost everything in this world is." he told her with smile on his face.

Adrian sighed and leaned back again, looking up at the ceiling. "You know, I don't regret her at all." she said, the statement surprising her. "When I first found out I did. But I don't now."

"Why is that?" Ken asked her, intrigued with what she had to say.

Adrian shrugged, still looking at the ceiling. "I guess mother's instinct and intuition. I can't regret her, I love her too much. And I know I'm contradicting every single conversation we've ever had about the situation, but I sometimes don't regret everything that happened, because in the midst of all of that, it gave me her." she said, finally looking at him. "Am I crazy for that?"

Ken shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Not at all."

"That's good." she said simply.

Suddenly Ken's watch beeped, making him jump slightly. He sighed and pressed his watch, stopped the insistent beeping marking the end of their session. "Well, we've run through our hour." he told her, standing up.

Adrian nodded and stood up as well, hooking her purse around shoulder. "Could you do me one more favor?"

Ken gave her a confused look but nodded. "Of course."

"Could you possibly prescribe me something, just so that I'll sleep easier?" Adrian asked me tentatively. "I've been falling asleep in class and-"

"Sure." he said with a smile, writing something down on his clipboard. "Just give this too Rita, she'll give you the prescription."

She took the piece of paper with a smile and nodded. "Thanks." she said as she walked out of the room. "Same time next week?"

"As always." he called back to her with a chuckle.

Adrian smiled at him before closing his office door and turning to his secretary. She froze in her steps. Standing there talking to Rita, was the last person she probably wanted to see. He turned his dark eyes to her and they instantly narrowed.

"What are you doing here?" Ricky asked her.

**A/N: Yeah I know you hate cliffies...But I couldn't help it, plus I need to update. Oh and I have a question for everyone:**

**How do you feel about everyone worrying about telling Amy instead of worrying about what's best for the baby? Please tell me in a review!**


	6. Memories

Chapter 6: Courage

Adrian stared at him in shock, frozen in her spot with his icy expression. She had definitely not expected to see him, let alone see him here of all places. She mentally kicked herself. Of course she would see him, they had the same therapist. He stared at her with that emotionless expression she knew he used when he didn't want to show how he was really feeling, which had always both baffled and annoyed her to no end when they were together. Hell it still did to this day. That very look he was giving her now.

"Um," she began nervously. "Hi Ricky." she greeted lamely, avoiding his eyes.

His emotionless expression broke and he raised an amused eyebrow. "Hi." he said back in a teasing tone. "What are you doing here?" he asked her again.

She stuttered on her words. God, she used to be really good at lying. "Um, I was just coming to see Dr. Fields." she told him, mentally smacking herself.

"Oh?" he asked, giving her a pointed look. "What for?"

"You know you ask a lot of questions." she quickly told him, evasively avoiding his question with an expertise she learned after avoiding everyone's questions at school.

"And you avoid a lot of questions." he shot back at her, a smirk on his lips.

Adrian shrugged. "Maybe that means I just don't want to answer them."

She started to brush past him and leave before she could dig herself into a deeper hole than she was already in. That was until Ricky, of course, grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him. She didn't look at him directly, only his chest that stared right in front of her. She couldn't look him in the eye and lie to him, not anymore anyway. Dr. Fields have given her a conscience, one she wasn't she was happy to have or not.

Ricky spoke to her in a gentle yet demanding tone, the tone he always used to use on her to make her melt easily. "Come on Adrian just tell me, I'm done with secrets." he said to her, his hand still holding her arm so her body was close to his.

Adrian cocked her head at him, moving her eyes from his chest to his face, yet still not to his eyes. "Obviously if I wanted to tell you I would have by now." she told him in a sweet yet deadly tone, shaking her arm from his grip. "Bye Ricky."

Ricky watched her leave this time with a slight pep in her step. That was the Adrian he knew, feisty with a spark in her eye. He let a smile pass on his lips before he turned to go into Dr. Fields. This was going to be fun.

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

__It was around 6 pm when Amy called Adrian in a panic. She had a date with her boyfriend, who she explained she really liked and really didn't want to mess up with, and Ricky couldn't get off of work until 9 that night. So there she was, holding a busy John in her arms while Amy set a diaper bag on her kitchen table, explaining a list of rules that came with taking care of him.

"I'm sorry its so last minute, but Ashley went somewhere with Griffin, and my mom and dad are on some kind of date." Amy rambled on as she rummaged through the diaper bag. "Plus, John likes you, and I don't trust Lauren and Madison to babysit-"

"Amy," Adrian began, interrupting the girls monologue. "Its fine, I'm happy too."

"Thank you." Amy breathed in exasperation. "Thank you for this."

Adrian shrugged and smiled at John who had begun to fiddle with her hair. "It's all good, I like kids." she said, cooing at John. "Go, have fun on your date."

Amy smiled at her and kissed John goodbye before she bolted out the door to her car, cursing about being late. Adrian only smiled and shut the door after her. She took John and his toys into the living room, settling him on the floor. She watched him play with his toys a bit, a small feeling pulling on her stomach, but she pushed it away. John gurgled to her in adorable baby talk that made her laugh. At the sound of her laugh, John smiled wide and stood up, running over to her in excitement.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at the boy as he collapsed against her legs and she pulled him into her lap. The small boy turned in his seat on her legs and touched her lips lightly, murmuring quietly in innocent curiosity that Adrian found positively adorable.

"You look just like your mom, you know?" Adrian spoke lightly. "That's not a bad thing though, your mom is pretty."

John smiled at her, making Adrian grin. "But that, yeah that's all Ricky." she said with a laugh.

"Whose this?" Adrian turned around to see her father standing in the arch way of the living room, smiling at the two. She was so engrossed in John she didn't even hear him come in.

"Amy has a date, and Ricky has too work so I told her I'd watch John for her." she answered, setting John back down on the floor so he could play with his toys, but he just leaned against her knees, looking up at her with playful eyes.

Ruben came around to sit beside his daughter, smiling at the little toddler. "He seems to like you." he joked as he watched his daughter pick the boy up.

Adrian shrugged. "Yeah I guess." she laughed, playing with John.

Ruben's smile turned soft at the sight. Adrian looked so natural with him at that moment, so happy. She had a light in her eye that had disappeared those months ago after the accident. He missed that spark in her, he missed seeing her smiling and happy. With a sigh he stood up and kissed the top of her head.

"Your gonna make a wonderful mother someday." he told her, surprising her with his words.

Before she could question him, he walked out of the room, probably upstairs to his study. Adrian looked back at John, who stared at her with curiosity before touching her cheek lightly.

"Addy" he chirped, his own rendition of her name.

She smiled fondly at the little boy and kissed his hand. Yeah, someday...

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

"Adrian..."

The Latina stirred in her sleep as her name was softly spoken by an all too familiar voice. Her eyes fluttered to connect with the deep brown eyes of none other than Ricky Underwood, who knelt beside her coach with a softness in his expression. She glanced down at her current position. John was sleeping beside her, his small hand holding hers while his other thumb was in his mouth. Her body was slightly curled around his, and he nestled into the crook of her arm peacefully. It was a comfortably peaceful position. They must have fallen asleep like that after watching the Shrek DVD she had found in his bag.

Adrian slowly and carefully lifted John slightly to free her arm and sat up, running her hand through her hair tiredly as she did. "What time is it?" she asked, her voice slightly groggy from sleep.

"Almost midnight. Sorry, I got tied up with some messed up orders." he said softly, stroking John's head.

She nodded in understanding, but furrowed her brows in confusion. "How did you get in?" she said in an almost accusing tone.

"Caught your dad on his way out. He said something about going to pick your mom up at the airport and then sleeping out in a hotel up there."

She almost forgot that her mother was coming home tonight. Her dad always took her mom somewhere special when she got home. Usually to a nice hotel with dinner. She stretched out slightly, getting the kinks out of her back. She watched Ricky stand up, running a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted, and much older than he actually was. He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"You alright?" she asked him, noticing his sluggish movements.

"Fine." he snapped, making her jump slightly. His expression turned apologetic. "Sorry, just kinda getting sick of everyone asking me that."

She nodded. "It's okay." she said softly. "You want something to eat, you look like you could use it."

"It's late." Ricky told her. "You've already helped enough."

"Ricky, come on, its nothing." she said in her old saucy Adrian tone. "I'm offering a sandwich, not a four course meal."

Ricky raised an eyebrow at her. "Fine."

She made him a sandwich she remembered was his favorite (Cajun turkey with light mayo and lettuce). She sat and watched him eat silently. He had changed, but he was still the same Ricky she remembered. He was still handsome as ever, still had that "Heart breaker" look she had been so drawn to. But added onto that was the more mature Ricky. The Ricky who was a father and a hard worker, the responsible Ricky. Two years ago she never thought she would ever use responsible and Ricky in the same sentence unless she was contradicting the word to his name. But things had changed. They had changed.

"I know I'm cute and all, but your staring kind of creeping me out." Ricky joked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I am not staring at you." she told him firmly, taking his empty plate away.

"It's okay if you are, I mean I can't really blame you." he continued.

"Oh get a grip." Adrian stated, dumping his plate in the sink to clean in the morning.

He smirked at her. "How was John?"

"Great, he has a fetish for touching my lips though." Adrian told him with a fond smile. "And he calls me Addy."

Ricky nodded. "Yeah he picked that up from the pictures I showed him."

The statement shocked her. He still had pcitures of her? "What pictures?"

He looked at her, his eyes distributing emotions she couldn't put her finger on. It was so uncharacteristic of him to be displaying that kind of emotion to her, especially on a subject like this.

"The one of us at that ice skating rink, the winter before I went to band camp." _Before I got Amy pregnant_ was left to hang in the air around them, but none dared to let it roll of their tongue. "I remember you begged me to go-"

"But you didn't want to because you were going to fall on your ass." she said softly, smiling at the memory.

"Yeah." he sighed. "And I did fall on my ass, no thanks to you."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you brought me down with you twice!"

He smirked again with mischief. "Get over it." he teased. "Anyway, you were all excited because your mom got you that digital camera for Christmas and you had that old couple take a picture of us."

"Yeah and you ended up breaking the camera." she said in annoyance.

"I saved the picture alright." He shot back at her. "I still have a few, including that one. John likes to pull out boxes from shelves and he pulled it out one day and we just kinda looked through them. He recognized you."

She bit her lip. "Thats good I guess." she felt stupid for saying just that, but what else was she supposed to say?

"You know what maybe I should get going." he said, heading back to the living room. Adrian followed him.

She watched as he gingerly picked up his son and put his coat on, even in California the weather gets cold in the fall. She wordlessly opened the front door for him, handing him John's bag as she did. He smiled gratefully at her, a genuine smile this time, not just a Ricky smile.

"Thanks." he whispered to her.

She nodded at him and was about to close the door, but his hand stilled her movements. She stared at him in confusion as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"And I missed you." he told her before turning and walking off to his car, leaving a stunned Adrian in his wake.

She leaned against her door as she closed it, sliding down to the floor as she did. These small moments she had been having with him brought so much pain, but this time, it wasn't pain she felt, or even sadness. For the first time, she shed tears of relief, of small specks of happiness, of hope.

"I missed you too." she whispered, burying her face in her knees as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

A/N: I know its been awhile, but tell me what you think! 3


	7. In Retrospect I

Chapter 7: In Retrospect part 1

_ "I'm leaving." Adrian said through sobs as she threw her clothes into the open suitcase on her bed. "I can't stay here and deal with all of this-this drama!" she cried._

_ Grace stood in her best friend's doorway, looking at her with pity and sadness. "Adrian..."_

_ Adrian wheeled around to her and shook her head furiously. "No, don't! It's done. My parents agreed and my dad's mom is fine with it. I'm leaving for Arizona tonight."_

_ "Adrian just think about this for a second." Grace said in a calm voice, even though she was on the verge of tears. "Ricky might get over it! He might come back tomorrow and you two can get back together. He and Amy may not even work out."_

_ Adrian paused as she was about to pack more clothes and dropped them to the floor. Grace rushed over to Adrian as she slowly sunk to the ground in sobs. Grace wiped her own tears away. When did they get to this point? When did they stop being kids? When did all of this drama rise to this point?_

_ "I can't stay here." Adrian muttered as her sobs calmed. "I can't do what Amy did, I can't do this!"_

_ Grace gave her a confused expression. She couldn't do what Amy did? What did she...It couldn't be. The blonde's eyes widened. "Adrian, please tell me you're not...your not-"_

_ "Pregnant?" Adrian spat angrily. "That's what the five little plus signs said." she started crying again. "Oh god Grace I can't do this."_

_ Grace nodded. "Yes, Adrian you can. I can help you, your parents can help you, my mom will help you, so will all of our friends, it'll be okay." Grace tried to reassure her. She sighed and rubbed her back._

_ "I tried to get an abortion..." Adrian admitted. "But I woke up this morning and there was this little bulge on my stomach, right down here." she place her hand just above her abdomen. She was right; you couldn't see it if you weren't looking for it, but there was a bulge. "And I thought "There's a baby in there" and god Grace I couldn't go through with it."_

_ Grace smiled at her. "I'm proud of you."_

_ "I'm scared." Adrian said, leaning into Grace's hug._

_ "Don't be. You don't have to go." the blonde told her, wiping away her tears._

_ Adrian nodded. "Yeah I do. I'm going to Arizona and I'm going to have my baby there and raise him or her there in peace. I can't...I just can't be here."_

_ Grace only nodded, knowing she had lost this fight. That was when the question popped into her head. "Is... Is Ben the father?"_

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

"_It's__ go__od to see you again Adrian. After our first session I wasn't sure you wanted to come again." Dr. Fields said as he sat down in his usual chair, smiling gently at the girl as she sat in front of him, arms crossed staring at the floor. "I'm sorry to hear abo__ut your loss."_

_Adrian rolled her eyes a bit. "I don't hear that enough." she mumbled sarcastically._

_Ken raised an eyebrow. "Well __it's__ the __truth;__ no one should ever have to deal with what you dealt with."_

_"I don't hear that enough either." she said again,__ her face still stony and cold._

_Ken sighed. "Well Adrian, your mother asked me if I could help you. You didn't speak at our first session a couple of weeks ago, which I understand, but that isn't going to help you. Your mother and your friend Grace also told me that you didn't want to come today."_

"_Well I'm here now." Adrian muttered._

"_And why are you here, Adrian?"_

"_For therapy," Adrian quipped as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world._

_Dr. Fields __laughed lightly. "Yes, well that much I __realized."_

"_How much time do we have left?" Adrian asked suddenly, looking up at him for the first time. Dr. Fields noticed the look in her eye. A complete contrast to the last time they had met. The last time they were vivacious, full of life but now they were sad, cold, empty..._

"_Plenty. Your mother tells me that she caught you drinking."_

_Adrian's shrug was her only response. Ken sighed. "You want to tell me why you were drinking?"_

"_I like drinking."_

"_And why do you like drinking?"_

_Adrian rolled her eyes. "Look, I didn't want to be here. My mom and Grace made me come here. I don't need therapy and frankly I don't believe in it."_

"_You did when you thought you and Ricky needed counseling."_

"_And see how well that turned out." Adrian said standing up. "You can just tell my mother I was here. We don't have to go through this-"_

"_Sit down Adrian." Ken said firmly._

_Adrian stared at the man for a few moments before taking her seat again, her jaw locked tightly. Ken sighed. "Adrian, your mother asked me to help you and that's what I want to do because you seem like you need my help."_

"_I don't." Adrian retorted._

"_That much is obvious." Ken said sarcastically._

_Adrian rolled her eyes. "Are therapists even allowed to be sarcastic?"_

"_We're allowed to be a lot of things." Ken said. "Now, can you tell me why your mother and Grace think you need therapy?"_

_Adrian rolled her eyes. "They wanted me to come because I'm... they think I'm shutting down emotionally, and they want to help me. After my mom caught me __drinking she decided that was the last straw and here I am. This is their idea of helping apparently."_

"_And how do you feel about that?"_

_Adrian rolled her eyes__. "Please don't tell me you're going to use that __cliché__ line, are you?"_

_Dr. Fields_ _chuckled. __"It's just that you sound rather bitter about it, care to tell me why?"_

_ "I don't get why I need to go to a therapist. In all honesty, I think therapy is really pointless. Plus, I can't understand why I can't work past this on my own," Adrian grumbled, th__e bitter undertone in her words coming across loud and clear._

"_Well, it doesn't seem as if that's been working out very well for you as of late."_

"_Can't be much better with a therapist."_

Dr. Fields_ let out a small snigger. "You know, some people actuall__y think that it's easier to talk to a stranger… that somehow you can say you're deepest secrets to one because, at the end of the day, you don't care what they think of you, their opinion doesn't matter, __and__ you finally got that weight off your chest by vo__calizing it to someone."_

"_Sounds stupid to me."_

"_Really, so there's nothing that you want to tell me then?"_

"_Well… I suppose there are one or two things, you know, since I'm already here anyway."_

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

_**Present**_

_ "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"_

_ Adrian groaned and r__olled over in her bed to see her mother and father standing beside her bed with wide smiles and a delicious smelling breakfast in hand. Adrian gave her parents a small smile and sat up in bed, smoothing her ruffled hair as her dad pulled out a camera._

_ "O__h dad no pictures please!" she whined, shielding her face with a pillow._

_ "Come on Adrian, you only turn eighteen once. Now you and your mother give me those beautiful smiles that I love so much." Reuben said, holding up the camera._

_ Adrian rolled her ey__es and posed with her mother, giving the camera her best smile. She was eighteen. Finally an adult. This was the day that she had been waiting for, and she thought it started out pretty well._

_ "Now we want you home right after your lunch and shopping tri__p with Grace. We have a nice little plan for your birthday and we want you here on time!" her mother told her as she set her breakfast in front of her._

_ Adrian raised an eyebrow at the woman. "Please don't tell me you planned me a surprise party." she ask__ed hopefully._

_ "Of course not." Cindy said, feigning innocence. "We know how much you hate surprises."_

_ With that Cindy immediately walked out, leaving Reuben with their daughter shaking his head. Adrian sighed and smiled at her father._

_ "She didn't did__ she?" Adrian figured with a sigh._

_ "I'm not saying a word." Reuben said, making a zipped lipped motion. "All I can tell you is that your mom is trying her hardest to make this day special, since this is the first birthday that you and I are spending __together."_

_ He was right. Her last birthday, there was too much going on to fully celebrate it. It brought tears to her eyes to think of how much she missed out on as a kid. She couldn't get those moments back, all those years. But she could the best of n__ow, hopefully._

_ "You go ahead and get ready for school. I'll drive you." Reuben offered, moving to exit his __daughter's__ room._

_ Adrian nodded and turned to her breakfast with a smile._

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

_"So tell me about Gabriela."_

_ Adrian glanced up __from her nails to glare at her doctor. "No." she said simply._

_ "Why not?" Dr. Fields said._

_ "Because I don't want to talk about her." she muttered._

_ "And why is that?"_

_ "Because I just don't okay?" she snapped at him__._

_ Dr. Fields leaned back in his s__eat, not surprised by her outburst. He wanted to push Adrian, push her towards some kind of opening that she was hiding from him and the rest of the world. "Understandable." he told her sympathetically. "But in order to fully recover from this, you have to__ confront it."_

_ Adrian looked away from him, too the couch she had spent the last two sessions in. "I can't. At least not now."_

_ Dr. Fields nodded with a sigh. "Fine... how about we talk about her name instead? Where __did you__ get the idea for her name?"_

_ Adrian glanced at him, wondering why she even bothered to get out of bed that day. "It was something Grace picked out. Grace is my best friend. She said it meant God is my Strength. At first I wasn't sure about it because I'm not really religious and I w__as about to be an unwed teenage mother, I think that's a sin or something. But then she said something to me."_

_ "And what did she say?" Dr. Fields asked, obviously intrigued._

_ Adrian let out a heavy sigh. "She said that it was a good name because God lov__ed my little girl so much that He made me love her just as much. He gave her a mother that would protect and love her and that's why it was a perfect name."_

_ "And you agreed with her?" he asked, careful with his tone._

_ Adrian nodded, wiping away the tear__s on her face. "I did." she said quietly._

_ Dr. Fields handed her a box of tissues, which she took gratefully. "But you don't now?"_

_ She shook her head. "No because...I lost her! I was supposed to protect her and love __her and__ I lost her!" she cried. "Why__ would God give her a mother that would do this? Why? Why would he put me through this and just take her away from me?"_

_ She ran a hand through her hair as sobs raked her body. Dr. Fields scribbled something down on his pad and sighed. Sitting up, her rem__oved his glasses and set his pad to the side._

_ "Adrian, you are not to blame." Dr. Fields said. "I can't tell you why things happen. They just happen. It's not your fault."_

_ "It is my fault." she said. "I was on the phone! I was on the phone with my mom __and maybe if I hadn't answered the phone I could have moved, or at least made sure that damn steering wheel-" she stopped talking, looking so frustrated and angry it broke Dr. Fields heart. "God I'm so stupid!" she cried, roughly pushing her hair out of he__r face. She started breathing hard and her eyes pricked with more tears. She gripped the sides of her head and brought her knees to her chest._

_ Dr. Fields immediately handed her a glass of water and moved her hands so that she would look at him. "Adrian, __slow your breathing and focus." Adrian took in a deep breath and followed his __instructions to the best of his ability. "Good, now drink the water." Again she silently did as he said, relishing in the relief the water brought._

_ Dr. Fields sighed and sat b__ack. "Panic attacks are sometimes normal for people suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome."_

_ Adrian raised a confused eyebrow at him. "You think I have post-traumatic stress syndrome?" she asked disbelievingly._

_ "No, I know you have post-traumat__ic stress syndrome." Dr. Fields said. "That was my diagnostic of you right after our first session. Depression, wanting to numb the pain, it all adds up. It's common for women who have been in your situation."_

_ "So what? Are you gonna prescribe me some __pills that are gonna make it all okay?" she asked, the sarcasm in her voice evident._

_ "No." he simply answered. "I may prescribe you something to help you sleep and for the days when the depression is bad, but I'm not here to make this okay because what h__appened to you and your baby girl isn't okay. I'm here to help you overcome the emotional and mental trauma and help you live with what happened, __helping__ you forgive yourself and eventually accept it. If that's okay with you?"_

_ Adrian only nodded, showing hi__m that she understood. Dr. Fields sighed and looked at his watch. "That's all the time we have for today. Give this to Rita on the way out." he told her, as he wrote something down on his pad. "She'll give you the prescription. I hope to see you again ne__xt week."_

_ Adrian looked down at the paper he handed and nodded. "Yeah, you will."_


	8. In Retrospect II

Chapter 8: In Retrospect II

_ "I drank again." Adrian said her gaze directly on the floor._

_ Ken raised an eyebrow. "Oh? May I ask why?"_

_ Adrian shifted uncomfortably, frowning. "I saw Ricky going into Amy's house… And it kind of hurt you know? Seeing him look so happy and I'm… I'm sitting here apparently diagnosed with "post-traumatic stress disorder"." She told him, sarcasm evident in the last words._

_ "So, you don't agree with my prognosis then?" Ken asked._

"_No," was the confident retort he received._

"_Then what would you call it?"_

"_Honestly?"_

_Ken nodded. "I think that is what therapy is supposed to be all about, anyway."_

"_Okay. Well I'd call it grieving and me finding a way to not give a damn."_

"_Very aptly put," Ken said._

_Adrian shrugged. "Better to be blunt than leave everything unsaid."_

_Ken's neck nearly snapped as his head shot up, immediately sensing an opening. "And I suppose you'd know a lot about that, wouldn't you?"_

"_What?" Adrian suspiciously asked._

"_Secrets."_

"_I don't know what you're talking about," Adrian stonily replied, clenching her hands discreetly, but not as much as she'd hoped as she noted how the therapist's eyes immediately took in that action._

"_Really?"_

"_Mhm."_

"_Bull shit."_

_Adrian stiffened, her eyes widening as she heard the unorthodox reply. "Ex-Excuse me?" she coughed, choking on air in her fit of shock._

"_Bull shit," Ken repeated, and unabashedly so. "I don't buy it," he elaborated. "You tell me that you're here to work past your issues, but you won't even accept the prognosis I gave you, even though it's clearly one that even a five year old could give you—albeit probably not with the same terminology, but it's an obvious one nonetheless. Then, you also tell me you're here purely because your mother and best friend forced you and then you tell me your ex-boyfriend-"_

"_Ricky, let's not refer to him as the boyfriend." Adrian interrupted coldly. "And I'd prefer it if we don't talk about him … please."_

_Ken raised an eyebrow. "And you tell me you're upset about your ex-boyfriend being happy, the very ex-boyfriend that you claim your no longer in love with, and that's one of the reasons you're here but…I'm wondering if it's just that?"_

"_What the hell are you talking about?"_

"_I can't answer everything here, Adrian. I can lead you to the path, but you're the one that has to go down it—I'm the little munchkin, but Dorothy has to follow that yellow road without him, you know that story."_

"_I hated it," Adrian grumbled with a small sneer._

"_Well, nevertheless, it's your job to answer that question for yourself… but feel free to share and discuss my unparalleled brilliance when you finally do come to the conclusion," he quipped._

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

"Happy Birthday Adrian." Adrian looked up from her locker to look at Ricky, who leaned against the locker beside hers with a small box in his hand.

Adrian beamed and took the box. "You got me a present?" she questioned, looking at the gold wrapping.

Ricky shrugged. "Bunny insisted. She picked it out too, said it's something you'd like." He said, looking highly uncomfortable at that moment.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, if you got me a present, you can just say it. I'm flattered." She said with a teasing smirk.

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Just open the thing." He told her, handing it to her and crossing his arms over her chest.

Adrian smiled and opened the box, her eyes widening at what was inside. It was a necklace, a heart shaped silver necklace with a colorful stone dangling from the middle. "It's beautiful." She breathed.

Ricky nodded. "Bunny, uh, looked up your birthstone, it's an opal. You're a Libra right?" Adrian nodded. "Yeah… it's not much but-"

"Ricky, I love it thank you." She said, taking the jewelry delicately out of the box. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to." Ricky said, trying to look indifferent as always. "Don't make such a big deal about it."

"I won't." she said with a smile and she clasped it around her neck. She patted it against her chest, smiling happily. "My first gift of the day…well second technically. My parent's made me breakfast in bed this morning." She said before looking suspiciously at him. "Have my parents said anything too you about a party?"

Ricky raised an eyebrow. "A party? Why would your parents tell me anything about a party?"

"Because I have this strange yet very strong feeling that their throwing me a surprise party." She mumbled, giving him an "I'm not buying it" look. "Look if you know something, just tell me!"

"I don't know anything." Ricky said, giving her an annoyed look. "And if I knew something about a surprise party, why would I tell you and ruin the surprise?"

Adrian pointed an accusing finger at him. "Aha! So there is a party!" she exclaimed.

"I don't know! And if did know something, I would tell you about it and ruin it for you." He said.

"Fine but…" her sentence trailed off as she saw something over Ricky's shoulder. It was Ben and Amy… talking very closely as she could see. Ben had that happy go lucky smile while Amy was looking at him with that sappy look she gave him when they were together. Adrian's eyes widened. "Oh god." She said.

Ricky turned to look behind him. "What?" he said before Adrian grabbed him and pulled him around a corner. "Ouch! What the hell?"

"Do you see that?" Adrian said, pointing around the corner at the two.

"See what?" Ricky asked her, following her gaze. "What am I looking at?"

"Ben and Amy." She said, low so other students wouldn't hear.

Ricky looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? Ben's with Grace, he wouldn't cheat on her."

"That's the same thing everyone thought when he was with Amy but he did…twice." Adrian said, hesitant about the last part. "Come on, you cannot tell me you don't see something's between them."

"Of course there's something between them Adrian, they used to be in love, but that's not happening anymore." Ricky said a little more sternly to get his point across.

Adrian raised an eyebrow at the tall teen in front of him. "Do you and Amy…?"

"No, why would you even ask that?" Ricky said, giving her a confused look.

Adrian held her arms up in defense. "Sorry, just wondering. " she sighed and looked back to the duo, crossing her arms. "What if there is something going on?"

Ricky groaned. "Adrian, stay out of it. It's your birthday, shouldn't you be happy instead of wondering if your best friends boyfriend is cheating on her?"

"I can't help it. Its girl code to worry about these things." Adrian mumbled in defeat.

"Since when do you care about stuff like that?"

Adrian sent him an annoyed look. "Since I had a friend to uphold it for." She told him snappishly.

"Geez, fine." He said, smirking. "Wait hold on, are you wearing make up?" he asked, looking closer at her face.

"Uh," Adrian began nervously, fidgeting with a strand of her curly hair that she had actually done that morning. "Yeah."

"You look…nice." He said truthfully. It wasn't near as much make up as she used to wear, but it was enough to make her almost look like the old Adrian. "Why'd you stop wearing this kinda stuff anyway?"

"Is it bothering you?" Adrian said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah it kinda is." He said back in an annoyed fashion. "Come on; just tell me what the hell is going on with you?"

"No, geez your persistent." Adrian said.

Ricky smirked. "You never used to complain."

"Yeah well I am now." Adrian muttered just as the bell rang. "Look I gotta go. Just…watch Ben for me."

With that she walked away, leaving Ricky to stare after her, like he did back then.

_**~*Catch me*~**_

_Ricky saw her sitting alongside the majorettes as their coach talked to them at the stands. She was sitting there, decked out in her skimpy practice uniform, listening intently to whatever the coach was saying. She was twirling one of her batons nonchalantly, looking incredibly sexy at the moment. He knew he had to have her. Making sure the conductor wasn't paying attention; he walked over to the majorettes just as their coach walked away. Some of the girls smirked as they saw him coming, thinking it was them that he wanted. All of them waited for his attention except her, which only made him want her more. _

_Ignoring the disappointed glares of the other majorettes' faces he took a seat beside Adrian, who gave him a bored look. He smirked at her._

"_Hey." He greeted. _

_She looked him up and down in a nonchalant fashion. "Hi." She said, looking out to the football field where the band was currently practicing._

"_Have I seen you around before? You look familiar." Ricky started, looking over her suggestively._

_Adrian rolled her eyes as his eyes scraped over her body. "Besides me being at every marching band practice and in your classes last year, no I don't think you've seen me around." She said sarcastically._

_Ricky raised an eyebrow at her. 'Hard to get huh?' Ricky chuckled at her. "Funny . What's your name?"_

_Adrian gave him a look before letting out a heavy sigh. "Adrian. Adrian Lee." She said._

"_Adrian." He tasted on his mouth. "Its nice to meet you Adrian, I'm-"_

"_I know who you are Ricky." She said looking away from him. "There isn't a girl on this team you haven't slept with. Word kinda gets around you know?" she said._

_Ricky smirked at her. "Yeah I know. You know we should hang out sometime since we see each other so much." He suggested._

_Adrian gave him a skeptical look. "Oh please, I doubt all you want to do is "hang out". And in case you didn't know." She leaned in too him, making his breath catch in his chest. "I don't have sex on the first date. Or the second or third date as a matter of fact." She snapped at him. _

"_What if I don't wanna have sex? What if I really just want to hang out with you?"_

_Adrian rolled her eyes and gestured to a blonde majorette at the other end of the bleachers. "You remember Katie right? You said the same thing to her. Second date, you slept with her and never called her again. Then you slept with her best friend a week later." Adrian told him. "So excuse me if I doubt that "just hanging out" is even in your vocabulary."_

_Ricky chuckled. "You're tough. I like that." He told her. "So when I get back from band camp in a couple of week, what time should I pick you up?"_

_Adrian gave him an exasperated look. "Really? After all that your still asking me out?"_

_Ricky shrugged. "Why not?" he said with a smirk. "You never know you might actually like me."_

_ Adrian raised an eyebrow at him. "And what do you get out of this?" she questioned._

_ "A date with you." Ricky answered simply. _

_ Adrian stared at him for a minute, long and hard, before rolling her eyes. "I'll think about it." She said before averting her eyes back to the marching band._

_ Ricky smirked at that. That was all he needed._

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

"Do you think this is wrong?" Amy asked Ben as they walked down the hallway. "Us I mean?"

Ben shook his head. "I don't think we're wrong for wanting to try again. We love each other, whats the wrong in that?" he asked her, smiling at her reassuringly.

Amy sighed. "What about Grace?" she said, taking his hand in hers.

"I'll talk to her." Ben tried to a reassure her. "I'll talk to her at lunch if it makes you feel better. She's a nice person, I'm sure she'll understand."

Amy smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks Ben." She said just as the bell ring. "I gotta get to Band, I'll see you later, kay?" she made sure not to kiss him, especially with everyone watching.

Ben nodded as she walked away, sighing blissfully as she walked away. He thought he should feel guilty about his entire situation, but he couldn't. He wouldn't feel guilty about trying to rebuild his life after Adrian…

"Hey." Ricky said as he approached him. "What's up with you and Amy?" he questioned.

Ben frowned at him. "Hey Ricky, how are you today? I'm great thanks for asking." Ben sarcastically greeted, turning to walk away.

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Just answer the question." He told him as he followed him. "Are you too going out or something?"

Ben whipped around to face him, anger on his face. "Why is it your business? Why is it anyone's business what the hell goes on in my life? Its my life! Why do you even care?"

"I don't." Ricky snapped at him, eyes narrowed. "But I actually do care about Grace, she's my friend you know and your girlfriend. So if your cheating, you might want to end this now."

"Like your one to lecture me on cheating." Ben scoffed. "Who put you up to this? Adrian?"

"No. She didn't." Ricky said, crossing his arms over his chest. "But she did point out how close you and Amy have been getting. At first I thought she was crazy but now I see it. Your cheating on Grace."

Ben shook his head. "No I'm not. Nothing's going on with me and Amy yet. Not until I break up with Grace."

Ricky rolled his eyes once more. "What is wrong with you? You can't just pick up another girl whenever you feel like it."

"Oh what like you?" Ben snapped. "No, I love Amy and I want to be with her. I thought I loved Grace but I don't. I'm not doing anything wrong by breaking up with her if I don't love her!"

"I knew it." The both turned their head to look at Adrian, who stood there glaring at Ben with her arms crossed over her chest. "Are you kidding me Ben?"

Ben glared at her. "I can't believe you told him."

"Yeah well I can't believe your doing this too Grace." Adrian spat at him. "She loves you, you idiot. She's done nothing but be there for you and be an amazing girlfriend despite what happened, and your still going to do this to her?"

"This was all your fault in the first place!" Ben yelled at her, gaining the attention of some students in the hallways. "You were the one who slept with me! You're the one that caused Amy to break up with me in the first place."

Adrian clenched her jaw. "I said I was sorry, Ben." Adrian said. "But you can't do this to Grace."

Ben shook his head. "No. I'm fixing the life that you screwed up. And I don't need either of your permission to do that." He said before walking away to his class.

Ricky looked at Adrian, who stared after the boy in sadness. "What happened?" Ricky asked her. "And I mean after you had sex with Ben, before you left."

Adrian looked at him, the hurt evident in her eyes. She looked as if it were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't get it out. "I… I can't tell you." She told him in a mere whisper.

Ricky's eyes narrowed. "Can't or won't."

Adrian reached for his hand. "Ricky…"

He jerked his hand away from hers. "You know what. You don't have to tell me." Ricky growled at her. "I'm done." He said before stalking away angrily.

Adrian watched him go, running a hand through her hair in pure frustration. "Happy freaking birthday to me." She mumbled.

_**~*Catch Me*~**_

_ "Mija, what are you doing?" Adrian cracked an eye open to look at her grandmother as she leaned against the doorway of the nursery, smiling warmly at her._

_ Adrian smiled back and rubbed her pregnant stomach from her place on the floor. "I don't know. I like sitting in here." She said, not attempting to sit up with her large stomach. "The doctor calls it nesting or something? I don't know. But its nice in here." She said._

_ "How long have you been there?" Rosa said, coming to sit beside her granddaughter. _

_ Adrian shrugged. "A few hours I think." She sent her a sheepish look. "I was going to get up an hour ago but… I can't get up."_

_ Rosa chuckled at the girl. "Poor girl. It's perfectly normal for a girl your size."_

_ Adrian sent her a mock glare. "Are you calling me fat?" she questioned._

_ "Not at all." Rosa began. "I'm calling you a glowing eight month pregnant woman who is about to be late for her appointment." She told her._

_ Adrian smiled as Rosa stood and helped her from the floor. "Thank you Abuela." Adrian breathed, rubbing her back and her stomach. "Alright Gabby, calm down." She said to her stomach. "She gets to hyper after I eat chocolate."_

_ "Well now I know what cake to get you for the baby shower." Rosa said bending over to press a kiss to Adrian's swollen. "By the way, your mother just called. She said that someone named Ricky stopped by the house."_

_ Adrian's eyes widened slightly and her hands immediately flew to her stomach. Rosa gave her a worried look."Mija are you okay?" Rosa asked her, putting a hand on her shoulder._

_ Adrian nodded. "I'm fine. Did she say anything else?" she asked, fearing the worst._

_ "He was just wondering where you were." Rosa said. "Adrian is this boy-"_

_ "I have to get to my appointment." Adrian said, turning to walkout of the room._

_Rosa sighed at her sudden change of subject and called after her. "Alright, let me put my shoes on and I can take you. The hospital was busy with a fire and my feet are killing me."_

_ Adrian frowned and turned back to face her. "Abuela you don't have to take me. You can stay here and rest." She reassured the woman._

_ Rosa shook her head. "No, anything for my grandchild and my future great grandchild. Rest can wait for you two."_

_ "Abuela…" Adrian said in a stern tone. "You work too hard. Go rest and I'll take myself to my appointment."_

_ Rosa gave her an unconvinced look. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"_

_ Adrian nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. I still know how to drive." She said with a chuckle. "I'll tell you how everything goes."_

_ "If your sure." Rosa said, crossing her arms over her chest._

_ "I'm definitely sure." Adrian said giving her grandmother a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back before you know it with more pictures of your beautiful grandchild." She joked as she walked out of the nursery._

_ Rosa smiled worriedly after her, something boiling in the pit of her stomach._

_**~*Catch Me*~**_


End file.
